...inspired by the first chapter in "How We Decide" by Jonah Lehrer. The chapter that talks about NFL quarterbacks (Tom Brady & such) and also about the OFC (orbitofrontal cortex) - one of the least understood regions of the brain that integrates senses, feelings, emotions & reasoning - the part that facilitates decision making.
Apparently feelings/emotions are the glue that makes sense of all the data & help people choose, make decisions.
Pure rationale or reasoning alone cannot lead to that final step. On the contrary reasoning without feelings can make one very indecisive - extremely so..
I am a prime example, a living case study of a life filled with such reason-led & reason-fed conundrums.
I see hundreds of options or possibilities - all of them are theoretically & even practically "possible", "viable" options. All of them have pros & cons in equal measure. All of them with potentials & pitfalls in equal measure. I am able see & I also end up considering all the sides of all the coins.
So what do I do - what should I choose?
For example, as a hobby should I pursue - tennis or ping pong or squash, swimming or sailing or horse riding, ballet or flamenco or bharatnatyam.....
To me all these are valid, viable options. Reason that tends to dominate me tells me that all are good & doable & that all have some level of difficulty.
If only I was in touch with how I feel about any of the these options - if only I knew what excites me - what I am passionate about - life would be magical.
Somewhere along the road I seem to have lost that connection with how I feel about things. With or without great effort, I have trained myself to function like a computer program - drawing my logic trees, listing options, weighting criteria, defining & following steps...all to no avail.
At this point, I am all the more confused & clueless, overwhelmed & off-centred.
Even as I write this, there is a part of me that is getting in to the rut of asking those familiar questions - so how do I solve this problem? What can I do to get back in touch with that fuzzy part of myself?
I hope I don't (although it is very likely) get into the next step in sequence - listing options that would help me reconnect..drawing logic trees, analyzing pros & cons...
It is just incredibly hard to let things be & let the universe express..very hard to just be & allow your inner core to bloom...now that I got addicted to intervention..
That's where long walks and tiring physical activities are useful. So you can get in touch with your body and your breathing. And that should make you more in touch with how you feel not how you think!
ReplyDeleteI SUGGEST u get up earlier & use that time to do some vigorous excercises 2 develop your talent in music & dance (u already know the basics)3 teach onyo along with u so that learning becomes a pleasure! amma
ReplyDeleteSome questions to ask yourself: How is it that I have been taught or taught myself to suppress my feelings? Am I afraid to feel? If so, why? Perhaps your times of meditation or daydreaming will be enlightening.
ReplyDelete